Holla if you’ve lived alone! I have — for one glorious year full of dirty kitchens, Lean Cuisine ravioli, getting in bed at 8:30, and all the BRAVO I could stand. It was magical. If I wanted I could simply sit and stare out the window all day.
To be honest if I could have lived all four years of college alone I might have done it. I lived in this awesome dorm my freshman year.
My room was so ill (it still IS ill). It had one brick wall, an entire wall of windows, a mini fridge and a TV. I could open the door and the windows to create a cross-breeze in an otherwise stagnant dorm, I could eat ham and mayo sitting on the floor next to my dirty clothes and nobody could say a word about it, and, best of all, I didn’t have to answer to anyone.
- Oh, it’s 9pm on a Friday and you want to sleep? No problem!
- You want to watch Boy Meets World at midnight? Why not?!?
- Who’s coming to visit? Wait, it doesn’t matter, because I don’t have to clear my visitors with ANYONE BUT MYSELF!
The best part was, I wasn’t lonely. Not even once.
Then I lived with people my sophomore, junior, and senior year. I also had a roommate for two years after college.
Then, it an epic move that made all my dreams come true, I moved to my own apartment. It had cathedral ceilings, a balcony, and was on the top floor!
Ahh, I’ll never forget May 31st, 2007. What a day.
But living alone isn’t all fun. There are those moments when somebody knocks on the door and you sh*! your pants because you AREN’T expecting anyone (it turned out they were just trick-or-treating).
There are also those Friday and Saturday (and sometimes Sunday, WTF) nights where it’s 1am (you’ve been asleep a solid 4 hours) and you are jolted awake by drunken hoodlums yelling at each other.
Drunken Lout #1: Eh, you! F- You, man! WHA?!?!
Drunken Lout #2: HAHAHA! You’re a yo-yo!
Drunken Lout #3: He ain’t no yo-yo! Hey, let’s go break into that apartment on the top floor!
Okay, maybe that last one was just in my mind…but when you’re in bed and you hear people shouting outside you always think the worst. You are momentarily frozen. You think of where your shoes are and how quickly you could grab your phone and shimmy down the balcony — but wait, what if there is another bad guy waiting at the bottom of the balcony in anticipation that you would come down that way? Zounds! There’s no escape.
You also have a lot of time to think about worst case scenarios when you live alone.
Luckily, Phyn was always there. So I had that extra security — or worry!!!!
Oh, you have to poop and it’s 3am? I guess I’ll be cleaning up crap in the morning.
Phyn says, “How could you say no to me?”
Because there’s no way I’m going out there right now. Didn’t you see? Jimbo Jones is on the loose!
The good news is, I live alone, so nobody will hassle me about the crap on the floor.